Monday, February 13, 2006

Olympic Events We'd Like to See

OK, after a weekend of TV watching as a family, we have decided that we're completely down with some of the funky sporting events that are part of the Olympic games these days. The summer games have stuff like fencing and speed walking and synchronized swimming. And the winter games have to keep up, so they have sports like curling and ice dancing. And I like the Biathlon. I really do. I think Dick Cheney should enter.

But if we're going to just open the door to any old crazy thing kids do these days and call it a sport (read: half-pipe snowboarding), then may I propose the following events we'd really like to see, and invite my readers to suggest their own experimental Winter Olympic Events:
  • Cross-Country Polar-bear escape
  • Bobsled Chicken
  • Ice sculpting w/ chainsaws
  • The Bikini downhill (or the G-string Super-G)
  • Ice fishing (beer companies lining up to sponsor this one)
  • Soccer on ice-skates (everything's a little more fun tried on slippery ice)


Bob K said...

I thought someone as theologically astute as you would have suggested a snow angel competition.

KBush said...

how about the old standby - broomball? or a Biathalon with snowballs rather than guns? (Perhaps that should be the only one Cheney is allowed to enter.)

Matt said...

The Bikini downhill - im liking the sound of that Ron ;-)

Not so sure about soccer on skates - how on earth would you coach that?!

toddk said...

Competitive Snow Shoveling -- in the tradition of other Winter Olympic "sports" there is a technical merit side (how much snow is actually moved and how neat are your edges) and an artistic element. In this event, scoring may depend heavily on "pluming" which refers to the aesthetic of snow cascading off the face of the shovel with each toss.

Matt said...

How about olympic snow ball fights?

John said...

Gabriel tried out Bumper Trees on sleds. We don't recommend. However, not to be easily defeated by a failed attempt, he has designed a new sled. This one features a knife on one side and a saw on the other, which can be popped out at any time going down the hill to chop down all offending trees. With this sled, I'm thinking a tree chopping sled race. Lumberjacks to sponsor that one. Miche