Thursday, May 18, 2006

Fifth-Grade Fears

We went to Jacob's fifth grade Open House this week. Along with the art projects and science experiments and US state reports, each member of his class was required to display a personal profile, which included informative lists such as "things I like," "my favorite foods," and "what I'm scared of." Turns out that fifth grade boys are afraid of some pretty typical things: bad grades, car crashes, the boogie man, and so on. The girls have similar anxieties, but they're more willing to include creaturely horrors; we saw lots of references to spiders and snakes. Most interestingly -- or humorously, given the emphasis the school puts on spelling -- we learned that within this community of very evangelical Christians, a fair number of Jacob's 10 year old female classmates are terrified "Satin." That's right, Satin.

We decided the little gals probably meant that they were afraid of... you know, Lucifer -- the Tempter, the Enemy, head boss of Moloch, Mammon, and Mulciber, the Prince of Darkness.

But I admit, bridesmaid's dresses are pretty scary, too.

(Can't tell if this one is the product of Satin himself or one of his nefarious minions, Taffeta and Crinoline.)

"The best way to drive out the devil, if he will not yield to texts of Scripture, is to jeer and flout him, for he cannot bear scorn." - Martin Luther


Mary said...

Heeelarious! Sitting here giggling...

Yep, I've seen pretty scary bridesmaids dresses, too, along the way. They will put the fear of Satin in you, that's for sure.

Ron Rienstra said...

This update courtesy some goth goobers somewhere in Wisconsin who desecrated some statues at a Catholic shrine on Tuesday night (6/6/06). The pentagram-painter's name is "Groth," and "Trevey" is a police investigator:

* * *

Most of the red paint has now been cleaned off the statues at Holy Hill. So Trevey asked Groth if he was going to do anything to pay the church back. He said he doesn't want to - but said he will if the judge orders it.

And as if desecrating church grounds wasn't bad enough, Trevey asked the self proclaimed punk about another mistake he made.

Trevey: "Do you know you spelled Satan wrong?"
Groth: "No - I'm not aware of that."
Trevey: "You spelled it satin - like the fabric."

* * *

Read the whole story here.