Tuesday, April 18, 2006

That's why we're number one!

All the nations of the earth are, I'm sure, duly impressed with American design engineers, who continue to advance human civilization. Why, our ketchup dispenser technology alone puts us far ahead of other, more backward nations.

But after seeing a commercial on TV last night for the new Oral-B Battery-operated Pulsar Toothbrush, we have to wonder: Maybe it's time to check "improving toothbrushing technology" off the world's to-do list.

I mean -- fifteen patents for this thing? Micro-pulsing? Does it do your taxes, too? You know, a person can simply move his or her hand back and forth with a regular toothbrush. It works fine.

Toothbrush design engineers of the earth, it's time to move on. How about applying your brilliance to solving a few other niggling little problems? Potable water for the world's poor? Cheap, clean energy? Repairing the ozone layer?



Mary said...


jimmy said...

You only say that because you haven't experienced the wonder of a powered toothbrush. All I have to do is walk into the bathroom and say the word "toothbrush," and my toothbrush will not only brush my teeth but shave and trim my beard, wash and condition my hair, and q-tip my ears. Every morning, my heart swells with patriotic pride, knowing that my amazing toothbrush is the product of American ingenuity.

Huisj said...

Sadly, lots of people with money will willingly spend the extra dollar on that high-tech toothbrush, and Oral-B will make lots of money that will pay the bills of the hard working engineers that designed it. . . and many of those same toothbrush users will not contribute their money toward causes that would help fund the development of more practical and efficient technology that the whole world would benefit from. The things that pay the bills are the things that will continue to have money thrown at them, and I think we mostly have lazy, greedy americans to thank for that.

JCR said...

Ron, you are WRONG! WRONG!! WRONG, i tell you!!! I *NEED* a battery-operated "pulsing" toothbrush as much as i -- and all red-blooded American men -- need a FIVE-BLADE FUSION(R)(TM)(C)(BFD) RAZOR!!!

Al-queda stooge! Americans MUST keep buying stuff they don't need so our economy won't, in Bush-speak, "go all higgledy-piggledy." If we don't buy these toothbrushes, the terrorists will have already won!


Pardelope said...

These toothbrushes are very useful to some people.

* people with arthritic hands.
* people with other mobility problems.
* carers/nurses cleaning patients teeth.
* people who do not brush sufficiently with normal brushes.
* kids who dislike using normal brushes.
* cleaning pets teeth (after you have discarded the brush for your own use). It is quicker, more efficient, and less stressful for you and the pet.
* the batteries outlast the bristles.
* they are excellent for cleaning grout between ceramic tiles.
* I do not gain anything from recommending these brushes - and I have no connection with the company.